By the way, can you smell something…? ((Sniff… sniff…. Sniff))…. Hmm… well it’s the smell of the Matrimonial Bliss. Everyone around – I LITERALLY MEAN EVERYONE is getting married. Why is there this sudden craze for marriage? Oh! Oh!… don’t take me wrong! I love marriages and the things related to it like, – clothes, makeup, food, photography, music, functions, cultures, people, honeymoon, gifts, new house, décor etc. I also love the romancing part by the way…
At my work, around 2-3 guys are getting married in the month of December. I have got three wedding invitations at my place – one from a neighbor, the other from an old school friend (AHHH) and the third one from some relative. I am happy for all these people who are about to tie knots but because of these people I have to face so many things at home.
To begin with,
Ma: Miss S. (School friend) is getting married.
Me: Haan Ma, I just read it on FB. Weird na!!???! She is just 22.
Ma: what’s so weird in it? She is a smart girl. She is getting married at the perfect age. It’s good to get married early. You know because of you I had to turn down so many good Bengali guys that had come your way.
Me: Ma, 22 is not the age for marriage. And as it is, it’s been just two years since I have left college. So chill ((Wink))
Ma: Don’t smirk at me Mita. Do you want to die unmarried? I want to see my grandchildren before dying. Can you even imagine what the ladies from the Bengali community think? They would think you are one of those ‘party girls’ and modern types who would be with a guy without marriage. You are getting old Mita. You are already 22… ((deep thought)) (I am sure she might be imagining me dying old and single)
Me: Ma, you can search a guy for me from OUR Bengali Community. As long as the guy is my types, I am ok. But you can’t force me. ((Left the room))
This is what happens when I get wedding invitations at my place. My mom thinks I have never liked any guy EVER! She needs to know that I am not a teenager anymore who would like and woo a guy and go all gaga over him. I am an almost grown-up and I like guys the other ways. ((Wink Wink))
Here’s the list of people I am attracted to,
- Gerard Butler: Who wouldn’t want a hot Scottish Actor. I would love to make beautiful babies with him. ((Really)) ((Blushing))
- Ashton Kutcher: Though he has that teenage love/crush look, but he is still good enough.
- Shahrukh Khan: No matter what people think about him or his sexual orientation. I know he is married to Gauri and he has two children and for me he is straight enough to love him.
- Ayushmann Khurrana: he is too cute and can be a boyfriend. Especially after Vicky Donor, I am a completely attracted to him.
- Mc. Steamy
- Mc. Dreamy
- Christian Grey (Fifty Shades Trilogy): I know it’s a fictional character and doesn’t exist in real but come-on I am wholly and solely attracted to him.
- Sabyasachi Mukherjee: He is cute and being with him would give me one added benefit. Original Sabya sarees on every occasion and every month – Maybe!
- Bradley Cooper: even with his serial killer eyes
- Super Mario: Come on I can’t say No to him. I have spent half my life with him – ALREADY!
- M.O.D.’s Owner: I would love to get married to the owner of M.O.D. (Mad over Donuts)
- KFC’s Hot wings: I can marry the entire range of KFC so that I can have a lifetime supply of it.
- Yo Yo Honey Singh: He looks yummy! ((Drooling))
- Randeep Hooda: ahem ahem!
So these were the people/ things I am ready to marry, hook up with, date, bang, have babies with or whatever you call it.
Shit! There are many more and I can’t remember them now! I guess I will have to make a list of them later. Anyway, Laters, Baby. ((Wink))
- Ayushmann Khurrana to work with his wife? (ibnlive.in.com)
- Will Ayushmann work with wife? (indiavision.com)
- I’m Here… (chaoticsoulzzz.wordpress.com)
- Janeane Garofalo discovers she’s been married for the past 20 years (popwatch.ew.com)
- Sex-Scandal CEOs Spark Surge of Notoriety in the C-Suite (bloomberg.com)
- Will Ayushmann work with wife? (sfluxe.com)
- Rev Chris Okotie not getting married this December (igbokwenuradio.wordpress.com)
- People don’t forget bad films: Ayushmann (vancouverdesi.com)
- Court protection to prevent forced marriages (homepaddock.wordpress.com)
- Chicago Tribune Celebrates Gay Marriage and Christian Group Flips Out in Response (patheos.com)