Father’s Day: not a good moment for all!!!

Broken glass
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Late in the morning today when I woke up, as usual I found my house all empty as my brother had gone out to visit his friend… well the point is not about thee empty house but its about the newspaper… it was the first time when I felt my eyes all filled up and my cheeks all going warm and red and the tears about to fall just by looking at the newspaper… I never cry looking at the newspaper… well not that my result dates were declared…. Jokes apart!!!

The newspaper was filled with Father’s Day articles and gifts and treats… the paper was filled with different Dad’s of different people… this is one word that bring tears to me… ‘PAPA’, this is what I used to call him… when I was a child; I was being pampered and spoilt by my dad…  I used to get everything before I could ask for it… if I want to go to the hotel, he would take us to the best one. If I lost my pen, he would get me the costliest one. Seriously I was being spoilt by pampering by my father…

I used to love him a lot… like any other girl for me too my dad was the HERO… he was the best looking man when I looked at him. Excellent command over English, great magician, the best orchestra person, the best banker, the best dad…. He was simply the best for me…

On every birthday he used to bring me a dress of his choice and trust me guys his choice was the best… all my decisions were taken by him and I knew that he will decide the best for me… the funniest part is when I was in my teenage, I had decided that I will get married to a guy who is the replica of my Papa…

At the age of 14, all my dreams, all my love for him were torn apart… I lost faith in the word MEN then… and more than anything I lost the faith from the word DAD… then I was 14 and needed my father the most as I was a papa’s girl… I know this blog is not at all a gift to my father on the father’s day but…

Anyways when I was 20 my father was being taken by the heavens… and I was the worst daughter then, I didn’t shed a tear when he died… I know maybe I will be punished for it… but I didn’t get the time to shed tears… all I was concerned about was my mom and my younger brother…

To claim the body I had gone toBangalorewith my brother and uncle… all the time I was there busy doing the arrangements for the funeral my mind was in Mumbai thinking what my mom is doing? Is she alright? My brother did all the ritual as he is the son… that was when I was suppose to sit and cry because I saw my dad’s body…but just after a few tears I was concerned about what arrangements is to be done in Mumbai for the further rituals… so when the puja was on I was busy making calls and arranging things…

I was away from my dad since I was 14… it had been six years now and what do you expect me to do cry for a man who left my mom in a soup… I was the naive one in my entire family who would cry for silly reasons. That incident at 14 made me the SON of the family… I didn’t know anything about reality and that was when I was encountered with reality…

Worst was when my mom had a paralytic stroke that was when I had to take all the responsibility… well leaving all that apart and talking to the point… I can just thank my Papa on the father’s day occasion for leaving me… don’t think that I have gone all insane and so I am saying this but seriously I am thankful to my dad who left me when I was 14 because of that incident I am what I am today!!! Today when people say why you don’t believe in love… the answer to that is what bigger can be the love of father and daughter!!! When I didn’t love my father after the incident how can I love any other person… but I am really glad that it happened…

But I really feel bad when I go to any beach and I see a father and a daughter there walking down the beach… I feel bad… I feel like crying… I feel like yelling… when I am watching a movie where there is a father daughter scene I just leave the room… one of my colleague recently on the lunch break said, “why would I pay for my own wedding? What is my dad alive for???” every girl builds high hopes when it comes to their wedding, I am no different…. But I don’t want to give any pressure to my mom when it comes to my wedding… either I will not get married or will have to wait for the guy who would be ready to marry me in the most simplest way…

I loved my dad… don’t know about NOW but yess then when I was a child he was my hero…and this blog is just to thank him for leaving me, this gesture of his has made me the strong person…

Before the father’s day, I am going to write another blog for a person who has been my father from when I was 14 till date…

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Father’s Day: not a good moment for all!!!

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  1. I share your pain…my father also deserted us,,,you are a strong woman who deserved a father who took his responsibilities seriously…I’m so sorry that you didn’t have that.

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    1. i have come out of it now….. totalllly moved on… n m really sorrry fr u as well… it really feels bad when dad deserts someone…. he is da one to take care…. but…. wellll dats life…..

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