Many girls might have this difficulty to get over their ex-boyfriend or in my case, an ex-crush. I don’t remember who, but someone told me once, ‘it’s difficult because you make it difficult.’ It might sound harsh but the truth is we over-emotional girls stick to one thing for a long period, thinking ‘Oh my God! I lost my love of life!’ I am not trying to offend you, but the fact is even I am one of those girls. I sit with one guy for quite some time that results in nothing but some pathetic blog-posts on my blog and few sad songs on my playlist and some extra weight gained around my love handles because of the chocolates and ice-creams I ate during my so-called-depression era.
Though I have been lucky enough not to be in a bad relationship yet (as the matter of fact, no relationship yet!) but yes, as I have mentioned earlier as well that my crushes were more or less like relationships, where the guy never said that He is in a relationship with me but texted me or called me whenever possible! Sticking around with one problem is not the right thing but girls like me can’t help it.
So I am trying this new thing to get over all these guys from the past and rather just chill for a while. So here are some things that would help me get over all the guys from the past.
Change of songs on the playlist
I have decided to change my entire playlist. The songs are our best friends during such time of grievances but the fact is sad and romantic songs make us more miserable. I am one of those miserable one’s who has all the sad and romantic songs on my playlist. So I am planning to make a new playlist – ‘Gettin’ Over!’ I am thinking of not listening to ‘Nothing’s gonna change my love for you…’, ‘Love the way you lie’, ‘O re Piya’, or ‘Iktaara’. These are one of my favorites and my mobile phone plays them all the time. But the fact is these songs ain’t helping me to get over my crushes and I ma sure that girls out there who have been through a rough RELATIONSHIP would agree that, these songs are just going to make you more vulnerable and sad and cranky.
So what will I listen to…? I might just listen to Flo_Rida or Honey Singh or any such song that won’t remind me of them. I know it would be difficult but changing the music playlist will change many things.
Not write about Lovey-dovey things or at least on ‘how I feel…’
The biggest problem with wannabe writers and bloggers like me is that we write our heart out when we are sad. This will just make a strong impact on us in a negative way. Trust me it will. I have been believing that writing out your heart out will change things for yourself but the fact is writing down about your last break up or your lover ditching you are a big NO-NO when you are in the recent break-up mood!
Okay, let me tell you what exactly happens: the first thing is that once you publish it on your personal blog, Facebook note or even jot it down in your personal diary which is hidden from everyone, you have a tendency to read it every time you go online. Trust me! I have been obsessed with my writings (still am) and I happen to go to one of my old break-up post and get sad all over AGAIN! The same happens with our personal diaries. So instead of being in such a situation its better to stop writing about all this. Write things that really matter to you. If a break-up is all that matters to you then you can always go to Google and type ‘creative writing prompts’ and you will get this link and it will give you so many more ideas for what to write about.
The second problem is, once you post something on your blog or Facebook, your friends happen to read it and they give you sympathy (come-on you don’t need Sympathy to get over a guy who dumped you). Some people might also ask you ‘what happened?’ which will lead you to tell them the entire story again which will eventually make you even worse.
The last problem about writing about a break up is, if there is some guy who likes you would read it and think twice about his decision of liking you. You don’t want to scare off an eligible bachelor, right?
So instead of writing about the sad things write about the good and happy things you did that day.
Watch Romantic- Comedy Movies
I know watching Rom-Coms during a break up time is worse but I would suggest you to do it. This would take you to the world of Romantic-Comedies and would make you feel good. This works for me. Whenever my heart thinks of one of my crushes my mind says, let’s watch ‘No strings Attached’ and see some of Ashton Kutcher rather than thinking of the guy who has dumped me big time!
I have this folder on my mobile phone and on my computer that have some real good Rom-Coms like No Strings Attached, Friends With Benefits, The Ugly Truth, The Rebound and also have movies that takes me to the different world altogether like, The Namesake, Matrubhoomi, Mr and Mrs. Iyer and Young Adults. The movies written in the Italic are certainly not Rom-Coms but at times even sensible movies help you a lot to let that creative horse in your mind run.
Make a list of movies that makes you happy, download them and watch them whenever your heart wants to think of that guy. It would help you forget him slowly.
Give yourself a break
This doesn’t mean that take a break from work. Don’t ever do that, because as we all know, ‘ Idle mind is a devil’s workshop’. When I say give yourself a break its from flirting or looking at guys. You might’ve heard people saying that, “Flirt with other guys when you are in the break up mode.” But the truth is this would be no good. This would just compel you to compare the new guy to the old one and it would worsen your relationship with the new guy, who could’ve been a good prospective for the future.
So just give yourself a break from all the love and relationship things. Rather just spend some time with your girls. And if you are one like me, who have just ONE girl Best Friend, force her to spend more time with you. Gift yourself those exotic facial and massage from the most expensive salon you’ve ever been to. Go for shopping – again if you are like me who hates to carry those bags and move from one shop to the other, go for online shopping from trusted websites. Go for dinners all by yourself. Just order a pizza and a coke and have it in the pizza parlor itself with the music from your Special Playlist falling on your ears.
So these were the Four things I might apply soon, maybe after my first salary from the new job, but people who are already working and are not bankrupt (like me) can start all of this ASAP! It can help you. Getting over is necessary. One month of this practice might help you a lot. I am going to start this from July and will be updating about it.
On an ending note listen to this song of Flo_Rida and cheer up yourself! Learn the lyrics of this song and keep singing it even at work. I do it! It helps!
- I May Actually Have A Crush Again – But I Choose Not To Act On It (teatofriends.com)