What I want? I ask this question to myself, whenever I want myself to SHUT UP! Human Nature is such that we don’t know what we want, but even worse is when we don’t know what we want at all. There’s a confusion that runs through you when you don’t know what you want to eat, wear, buy, do, listen, watch etc.?
Trust me I am confused about my own thought is worse. I decide today: ‘I won’t talk to this PARTICULAR someone.’ The next moment I get a text message from that person and I am back to normal. I know this happens to everyone, but in my case this happens with more than one man.
I am also not sure as to what I want to eat. I order a MC Spicy Paneer, but then wonder – I could’ve ordered the Salad Wrap! If there is something smaller than the second, that is the frequency of my confusion. I have 3 lip gloss and 2 lipsticks of the shades I like. And every day – EVERYDAY I am confused which one to apply.
I asked myself yesterday, “what do you really want Mita?” and later realized this isn’t a movie where the inner me would say something and I would listen to it. So I decided to read a book. The point is I have never got the answer to what I want?
I had a crush for a guy since I was 18 (that crush still exists), but I am still not sure if I want him. At times I think it’s not my confusion but the confusion from the other end! Unless I know what the person wants how the hell in the world I can even guess it. Okay! I can ask the other person – but what if the person on the other end is ‘Saath Samundar par’ I mean in some other country or the person is in some other state and not in contact. Or the person who is in the other country is too busy to reply to a Hi? I always tell myself: ‘Mita Chuck it!’ but its better said than done!
I wish I got over the confusion about silly things like, guys, food, clothes make up etc.…
Anyway time to sleep.
Other updates: no news from Navin, Which makes me restless. I have got no holiday for Eid while my entire family does. I can’t have Sheer Korma tomorrow on Eid because I am fasting. ARRGGHHH! And I have to go to the gym. Also expecting a few friends over (usually they do come over on Eid but, this time is a bit different). About my new crush, well no1 actually I have got a new crush on my old one again!
P.S.: Picture speaks a thousand words. I am sure no one would understand what the hidden message here is, but I am sure he would. 😉
Well people all around the world Eid Mubarak to you all.
- ~ Emotionally Unavailable * Silence & Disconnect ~ (mysterycoachdsi.com)