Is it different or no…? You feel like yelling when you can sense the same thing from the past. You feel nostalgic, when things start getting worse. At times it’s not the people to be blamed for but the inner goddess that stays in you. Doubts! Jealousy! Insecurity! These three things ruin relationships for sure.
Freedom is required or else it is nothing more than a suffocating relationship. Per my previous post most of you now know that I am dating this guy. Let’s call him Confused Soul in this blog. He says something and he seems something else. I am getting addictive of his presence. It’s been the first weekend in the last one month that we’ve not seen each other. It gives me doubts. He told me that he is out with his family, but still my inner goddess says: ‘What if….?’ Women usually have this ‘what if’ nature in them. I feel it’s not that bad unless you start over thinking about it. I am one of the hardcore reader fans of Christian Grey and Gideon Cross. So I expect my guy to be a lot like them. Also, I know there would be an Elena in every love story. At least my last love story had an Elena. This love story also has an Elena, I suppose.
I am disturbingly possessive about my guys. If someone is mine, they are just mine. I might talk to 100 of men, but I know I am loyal. But my trust on men is pathetic so I know if my guy talks to a single woman he might be thinking of her in no clothes (that’s how men think). Maybe It was my possessive nature that drove off the last one! Maybe I need to keep that feeling to myself. But if I don’t share it with the guy then I might just go crazy by thinking of worse scenarios.
They say – For Aries woman – Love is not Love unless it is physical. So here, it doesn’t always mean (S-E-X) it also means seeing the guy in person. I need to have a daily assurance that he loves me and will not leave me no matter what. Confused Soul has given me the assurance and he has gone all public on Facebook about his relationship with me and also he doesn’t miss a chance of PDA – holding hands or keeping his hands on my shoulder. It is cute at times. I am not a girl who doesn’t flirt with others, and maybe that’s the reason I do not trust him. When I know I flirt with others- he might too. However, there’s a difference in a girl’s flirt and a guy’s.
Maybe giving each other a little space is what is required right now in our relationship. Or else, sooner or later I will ruin it like the last one.
So it’s time to go slow.
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