“Another day for you ladies”, stated by my younger brother. After seeing too many posts on Facebook and adding and liking some myself, I decided to blog about Mother’s Day. But it isn’t for my mom. It is a letter from me to my future kid(s) (if any).
I love my mom and she has been my inspiration and my motivation for many things. She has criticized me as well as supported me. She knows so many things about me but decides to keep mum on those. She loves me a lot and I know she depends on me as well. And I feel no pride in saying that I have chosen to stay unmarried and work hard, party harder and take care of my mom like she took care of me.
If at all I get married and have kids or just have kids, this is something I would want them to read.
“Letter to my kid (Be it Son or daughter or both):
First of all kiddo, I am sure you must be shit scared of me and you love your granny (my mom) more and you think she is the coolest. Trust me child, she was exactly as I am and I will be like her to your kids. So chill and don’t you dare crib about the fact that your mom is strict. I am writing this letter while I am 25 and it is mother’s day back here in time. Yeah! We used to celebrate such stuff. Also, we used to take selfies and had twitter handles. We were very modern and every time you feel how granny knows to play online games, remember it was because of me or your uncle (Alok).
Now here are some things for you’ll to read, understand and follow:
1. Kid, education is important and let that be anything. I will be supporting you’ll in any education or subject you’ll want to master in. It can be dance, cooking, classical singing, pop, rock music, gaming, writing anything. As long as you are learning, I am paying.
2. Marriage and love isn’t the last thing on earth. You will fall in love many times.
a. Starting from the age of 14, where you will think if you don’t get the person you love, you will die. Well first of all that is infatuation. And you won’t realize it until you are writing something similar to my grand kids.
b. At the age of 18, you will again fall in true love. At this age you might do disasters like my first lover did for his then ex-girlfriend (I am not sure if he will be your dad, because if he is you will know what was the disasters and if no, then I will tell you in person). Also kiddo, this might be the time you first experience your first kiss (like I did). Trust me it is special.
c. At the age of 25, now you are all grown up and know what sex is, protections are and how babies come out. (You’ll knew it at the age of 14 and I am very well aware of that as well – Remember, I am your mother). Make sure career comes first. I have made many wrong decisions and hidden them from my mother. You’ll will hide them too. But remember, those taunts grandmother gives me every time? Well, though I hid it from her, she knew them. Now you know, though you’ll hide it from me, but I will know them eventually. Always remember, no matter what wrong decisions you have made, you can come up to me and talk. If you are really not comfortable make sure you sort it out well.
d. Now kiddo, frankly I can’t tell you the love relations beyond 25, because I am writing this letter to you while I am 25. And I am very unsure about how love is. I have been in love with one person till date and while writing this letter I am having a fight with him. So love is difficult baby.
3. Books: Kiddo, I have quite some collections of books. Now if you are a girl, I must say you will start reading Fifty Shades of Grey and mills and boons from the age of 14. That’s when I started reading Mills and Boons and yes your granny gave them to me. If you are a boy, please tell me what kind of books you like to read, so that we can go to crosswords and buy you some. Also baby girl, if you like reading some sensible books don’t worry we will buy books for you too. Kids, please read books because they will stay with you always.
4. Sexual Preferences: No matter what sexual preferences you have I am going to be your supporter. To be very frank, I used to support LGBT back in my college days.
5. Marital Preferences: While I am writing this letter, I am planning to not get married (there’s a possibility that you are my adopted child, don’t worry I will let you know if you are and I will love you as you are my kid) Now as writing this there’s a flush of ideas on marital status going in my mind – being single all through and adopt a kid, be a single mother, being just single with no kid, being single with mom staying with me, being in a live-in relationship with the guy I love, being married and have kids with a job in hand and a husband. So kids, if you’ll have anything in mind out of these or if you are more creative than me, discuss it with me and go ahead. You have my support.
6. Clothes: Now I need to make sure that my girl is definitely not wearing skirts above her thighs and my boy isn’t wearing a jeans below his hips, because if that’s the case you will have to go through immense mellow drama.
7. Habits: Now I have tried a lot of things in life at a certain age. I hope none of you are planning to get addicted to something. If yes, I won’t be the mother who will ignore it but I will work double shift, earn more money and send you to a rehab. I want you to have green leafy vegetables but not of all kinds (I hope you know what I mean)
8. Last on the list: I will be making enough savings for my old age. And I don’t expect you to be like me who will take care of their mother. So at any point if you want me to move out, I will lend you some money to find a rented place for yourself, because you need to know that the name outside the house is Mrs. Mummy and Mr. Papa, so if someone needs privacy from the old folks they need to move out. We ain’t leaving!
Kiddo, I am sure you are a very smart child and will be a mixture of good and bad. Make sure whatever decision you take I will support you if it is for your good. If no, I will have to let you know it’s not good and then you will rebel.
One thing I have learnt and would like to tell you, parents are never wrong. They tell you things from their own experiences. But as kids we need to make our share of mistakes and take risks. I am 25 while writing this, and I will tell you that according to a 25 year old girl living in Mumbai life isn’t easy. After 25 years more, I might yell at you’ll for using profane words but use it till you’ll don’t feel like stopping it yourself.
Make mistakes, learn from them. Fall in love, get your hearts broken, cry and then recover. Because LIFE happens just once. Make sure you are living your life, enjoying it. Find a partner who will support you even in the bad things but encourage you to do good as well. Find a career that makes you happy and not cranky. Earn little in the start but make sure you spend and save together. Speak English fluently.
One advice that my grandfather gave me: It is okay if you don’t know to speak Bengali (my mother tongue), but always know how to speak in English. That’s the language that gets us the bread and butter.
One advice that my grandmother gave me: Study! Learn! Work! And Earn! Marriage will happen, but before marriage you need to make sure you are independent enough to take care of yourself and not depend on your husband.
One advice my dad gave me: Love what you are doing and life becomes simpler. Dream Big!
One advice my mom gave me: Save money for yourself. Never depend on your husband. Be a woman who can take care of herself and her kids. Never quit working.
All these advice are something I remember and tend to follow. And I am passing all these to you. Also this letter isn’t an advice letter. This is something I would have loved to get from my mother, but I didn’t. The time has changed and it will change more till you get it. Till then Love yourself! Love your loved ones!”
This was a very rough letter to my kid(s) (if any). I will make sure to make improvements in this and make it presentable for them.
Piku – The movie is a must watch by the way. Amazing movie! And if you are a Bengali, you SHOULD watch it! Here’s the official Trailer of the movie.
Keep Reading! Keep Blogging! Keep Making Mistakes! Keep Learning! Keep Loving Yourself!