Feeling miserable in a relationship because of external reasons can be one of the worse thing. Let that relationship be anything from parents to best friends. When external reasons or new relationships start hampering your years of companionship, it is time to take a step back and let it sink in.
It is not easy to let go of a person you’ve been with for many years. It hurts, not just mentally but physically too. There’s this tummy pain and headache that causes you to not focus on other things. All you want to do is tell that person, “Hey! Our relationship is getting affected because of blah blah blah reasons.” It is easier to let it out, it gives you an instant relief, but, will that relief solve the issues in your relationship or will it make it worse?
What if the external reason is just external for you and too personal for them? If my relationship with my mother is getting affected because of her sisters, that could be external for me but isn’t it too close to her? I can’t ever think of putting my mom in a position wherein she has to choose between her sisters or me. That’d be insane. She would choose me, but not being in touch with her sisters will slowly kill her. In such cases, it is best to take a step back and let this hiccup fade away. It will certainly kill your mood, appetite and if you’re like me you’d rather start eating a lot.
Some relationships, especially the ones that’s very important to you because of the nature of the relationship or the years invested or the bond you have, is on a roller coaster, close your eyes, take a step back and let the ride be over. You have no control over the external factors and the external factor is too personal for the other party so you’d never want them to choose one.
Staying quiet and not letting it out is a task for me. If I have a problem I cry it out, but this time, maybe because of the relationship and how important it is for me to see the other person happy, with or without me is so intense, I’m being mature enough to let it pass.
As an adult who is still pampered and quite a brat taking this road of maturity is new for me. It is a foreign feeling. My mind tends to focus on petty things like ‘this wasn’t right’, ‘this person thinks you’re not needed’, ‘this is injustice’, ‘why isn’t the person speaking up’, ‘isn’t talking up for yourself the right thing to do’, ‘is the other person asking this person to keep distance from you’, ‘this is how things are, nothing stays forever’ etc. However, letting those things out to everyone is easy but to the person who should know about this, is not. The moment you let this person know that so and so factors in their life is bothering you, you are unknowingly putting them in a situation wherein their mind would be a worse place and that’s the last thing you’d want.
Chaotic Soul has turned to Gyaani Soul for today and saying goodbye for now. But…
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