Chaoticsoulzzz

How am I dealing with depression in 2021?

It’s been pretty long since I’ve blogged. It’s just been a set of busy months, that’s it!

I’m here to talk about ‘Mental Health’ again. It’s October, the start of winter and my anxiety about getting an episode of Seasonal Affective Depression has already started. The episodes are really bad and I don’t want to go back there. Past year has been fair to me and the pandemic certainly came to me as a blessing.

I started a new thing this year – Forgiving.

To begin with, I got this tattoo and am on a journey to forgive my dad for abandoning us. October being the month for Mental Awareness and one of my favorite months because it’s the Pujo time, I’m starting another task – Forgiving MYSELF!

Father-Daughter bond – Celtic Tattoo

Everyone who knows the pain, the zone, the phase we go into during a depressive episode, knows that we start blaming ourselves. “Am I faking it?”, “Am I just doing all this for attention?”, “Am I not trying to ‘SNAP OUT’ of it?”, “Am I lazy?”, “Do I need to just SMILE more?”, “Am I the reason that everyone leaves me?”, “Is it me who cannot hold a relationship for a longer period?”

From today onward, I’m going to forgive myself. If my mind tells me, ‘I am being lazy, indecisive, arrogant, adamant etc.’, I’m simply forgiving myself and I’ll keep doing this until, I feel forgiven. It is not going to happen overnight. Nothing happens overnight. I am going to try RESILIENCE to see if I can help myself.

There is no one out there to help us, it’s we who can help us and we have to be EFFING good at it. I’ve learned in these past years dealing with depression that it cannot be controlled, it’s a state of mind triggered by a chemical reaction in your body and you have absolutely no control over it, but just like a flu, we can try to heal ourselves.

The paracetamol for me for depression is going to be FORGIVENESS this time. I’m going to prescribe myself ‘Multiple doses of FORGIVENESS through out the day’ for getting over this deadly sickness at the earliest.

If you are going through something similar, please visit a therapist. If you can relate to this post, please understand, you need THERAPY, as the method used by me for me, is not a part of any therapy and may not work for you. It is advisable to visit your nearest therapist and then maybe we can have a chat here.

Keep Blogging! Keep Reading! Love Thyself! Forgive Thyself!

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